February 24, 2012

Love, Life, and Facebook


*** 

After I wrote this post, I went back and noticed I already wrote some very similar posts on this same topic.  I am obviously going through something right now.   

I am learning to embrace living in my own skin as an adult and it is a really good but hard process.  For the first time I am taking those negative self thoughts that tell me so and so hurt my feelings or that I am not as good at something than someone else...and I am learning to let them go.  To shake them off.  To not let them eat away and control my life.  

I cannot make everyone happy and at the end of the day I have to be true to who I am and my personal convictions as well as what is best for my family.  

I have to set boundaries to protect myself and my sensitive heart...and if that makes someone upset, that is not my problem to fix.  

And can I just say, how amazing that feels!  Thank you for letting me share these thoughts and my journey.  Your encouragement is always a reminder that I am not alone and that these are the steps that need to be taken to live a free and happy life!

***

I spent all of Monday and Tuesday last week hanging with my mom at her flower shop to help out with Valentine's Day.  The two days were full of deliveries, making and taking orders, and hearing sweet stories of love...a Valentine's Day engagement, 50+ years of marriage, and dad's buying flowers for their daughters.

The two days were extremely busy but fun and warmed my heart to share in so many other people's love stories.

It was such a blessing to be the one to hand over sweet sentiments of love through flowers...to see their face light up...and their often giddy responses.

There is a lot of pressure on Valentine's Day but I was reminded that the day can go one of two ways.  It can be a beautiful day to shower a loved one with sweet guestures...but it can also be a very lonely day as well.

Seeing both sides of the day, I was encouraged and reminded the power behind love.  That we can make or break someone's day simply in our words and actions.  And this relates not just to Valentine's Day but every day of the year.


I am usually pretty selfish on Valentine's Day.  It is usually about me and my romantic evening with my husband.  But this year, I was distracted.  I put aside some of my planning so that I could be available to my mom {on top of also watching my nephew!} and it gave me a whole new outlook on the day.  Being a part of someone else's story for a minute was actually a much bigger blessing than being consumed by my own. 

I spent some time on Facebook the morning after Valentine's Day and I caught up on everyone's status updates for the day.  There were pictures of roses and candy...mom's shared about their children being their Valentine...and some of my single friends shared some encouraging quotes on the single life.

Part of me felt left out...that I was so busy that I didn't have time to post myself.  I wanted to show off my cute heart pin I wore...I wanted to give all the details on my date with my husband...but as I scrolled through conversations of how different people dealt with Valentine's day, I felt like I didn't need to be heard.

I do not need to brag in order to boost my own ego...and I shouldn't share on the basis of wanting to make other people jealous...there is already so much pressure out there...and often pressure I put on myself and my husband...that I decided it was okay to keep it to myself.

I have been worn down lately by jealousy and feeling the pressure to be the best/have the best...and it is really draining.

I want to love better...everyday, not just Valentine's Day.  I could be an encouragement to so many people around me if I was willing to take the time and be a bit less selfish.

I want to live my life...and truly be in it...and sometimes to truly be in it I have to walk away from sharing about it with the whole world...as well as getting bombarded by comparisons of how other people are doing it. 

I read a quote from an article that seemed to sum this all up very well:

If we only wanted to be happy it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult, since we think them happier than they are.

I often think about how some blogs can leave me more discouraged than encouraged.  That I cannot quite keep up with the projects, and the big homes, and the fancy food.  But then it often makes me wonder if other people walk away from my blog thinking the same thing. 

I love that my blog is a place to share my creative ideas and projects.  It is so much more fun to share it with women like you who are like minded and encouraging about what I do.  But I would never want anyone to feel like what they do is not enough.  I by far do not have a perfect life and really try to be open and transparent about that here. 

May you leave this place encouraged to live a better life for you, in the specific ways that work for you...and only you.  Let's stop comparing and instead see the people we could be loving better.

9 comments:

  1. I could not agree with you more. You have basically grabbed the thoughts in my head and thrown them on this post. :D

    And that quote is just brilliant!

    I find when looking at blogs each day is like russian roulette on which will be a good day where I feel inspired and which will make me want to pack up my blog and move to Antarctica.

    Have you read 'The Happiness Project'? It has the same sort of 'reviewing our own behaviours and its relation to our happiness' theme as your post. Just a thought. :D

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  2. Great post! Thanks!! I felt like you were writing specifically to me at some points!

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  3. this is ONE BRILLIANT POST. So thankful for YOU!

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  4. I really love your quote. We never can know where other people are at, their mood, their struggles, their worries. A great reminder for me when jealousy creeps in is that the Lord made NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME. I had a blog experience a few weeks ago that I met a fellow reader and one of the first things she said was "your life looks so glamorous". It kind of stung and still has stuck with me. I have no intent of flaunting my life (to me I was just writing about what has been going on). And honestly, I write selfishly for my family and for record purposes. haha. But it still hurt that she felt that way and that the written word without any real face to face communication is so completely taken out of context. Anyway, I love your blog and I hope you feel absolutely beautiful and perfectly knit together, because you are! What a sweet girl you are! Thank you for a great reminder to think the best of ALL people and to give the benefit of the doubt all the time. :) Have a great weekend!

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  5. I couldn't agree more... this spoke straight to me!!

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  6. I love reading a tutorial on how to craft or decorate something beautiful or cook something wonderful but I can also learn from someone willing to share honestly about learning to live in her own skin and setting personal boundaries. That thing you are going through? We all are :) I think it's awesome and brave and inspiring that you are sharing your introspection and your struggles with personal growth on a public blog. You go girl!

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  7. Oh, and Gretchen Rubin, the lady who wrote The Happiness Project has a blog too!
    http://www.happiness-project.com/

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  8. Here is an interesting quote to think about:
    "One reason we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel." So true, isnt it?

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  9. Thank you for writing this.

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You can also email me at domesticfashionista {at} yahoo {dot} com.

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