A Slow Paced Life


A couple of times a year I catch the slow paced life bug.  It often comes from something I experienced.  Currently, it was being on vacation.  But in the past it has also been because of a fight with my husband, getting sick, or because of something emotional.  Being on vacation is much more glamorous than some of the other sources!  I feel thankful.

When we go on vacation I get to spend a ton of time with my husband.  I am not on the computer and he doesn't have the stress of work.  We are just together experiencing whatever is to be experienced in front of us.

I love to visit new places but really, I love to get away and play.

The thing is that I can experience getting away and "playing" even here at home.  I am pretty nostalgic about our first few years of marriage.  I was finally a housewife...it was before we had internet in our home and I was yet to have a smart phone.  I got to live a little fairytale I had come up with in my head about being married.  And it was wonderful.

But everyday life cannot always be a fairytale so life eventually caught up with me.  I still feel pretty blessed about how I get to spend my days but it is definitely filled with more stress and pressures that I put on myself.


I hit my six year blog anniversary this month and as I think back to my first years of blogging (which were also the first years of our marriage) I cannot help but be nostalgic about those slower fairytale years.  I wish I could go back in time to relive it all.  But when in reality, not much has changed in my life since then besides things I have chosen to take on.  I do not work outside of the home anymore.  I watch my nephew, but at twice a week, I still get more done being at home with him than I would substitute teaching.  My husband has the same job.  We live in the same home.

What I have realized is that the thing that has changed in these past few years is my to do list.  In order to be more in this blog world I have had to do more.  In order to keep up I have fallen into the trap of busy social media that never sleeps.  I am old enough now to be able to see our world is changing.  Keeping up sometimes makes me feel like I am losing myself.

This blog has had such a huge impact on my role as a wife and a woman.  It helped me to embrace my role as a homemaker and it is something I am so grateful for.  But at the same time, as I started getting recognition for my voice and my styling, blogging became a job because I wanted to keep up.

What once was me seeking support from the outside world has actually become the opposite.  I found refuge and community through blogging that there were women who valued what I do.  I fought outside comments about what I did all day and assumptions that I just spent all of my husband's money.


But as time has gone by and blogging has changed, blogging has now become the new pressure in my life.  My value now is being seen in my pageviews, how much money I make, and what big business recently featured my work. 

So as I come back from vacation, I realize that I want my value to come from somewhere else.  I am reminded in my time with Brent and that I want my priority to be more on him.  I see my home and I want to really be in it.  Not just sitting in my office.

I want to create and inspire others because I want to.  Not to meet a sponsored deadline or to get more pins on Pinterest.  I want to embrace the homemaker that I have been these last five years and stay true to the voice that I feel called to be.

My husband, my home, and our slow paced life is my priority.  I want that to be enough.  I do not need the pat on the back that blogging brings.  Instead I want to share my life through my heart for those who need to hear it.  But not at the expense of being true to who I am.

6 comments:

  1. I know we've discussed this topic many times, and we're not the only ones. It seems to be a recurring theme among bloggers. Many of us begin blogging for the recording of time or sharing of knowledge, we stick around because of the connections made, but then somewhere along the line, what once was a fun hobby suddenly turns into a job.


    Maybe it's the natural progression of blogging - if you've been doing it for more than a year you feel like you need to be making something more of it? I don't know. I know I need a break, though. I'm running out of scheduled posts. By the end of June my blog will be going dark for a few months. Reassessment time, I believe. Because I too do NOT want to start judging my value by how successful my blog is doing. If that were the case, I'd have some pretty low self-esteem. ;)

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  2. I always love your blog, Ashley. It is one of the few I still subscribe to. I realized a few months ago that the blogs I was following were having the effect of making me discontent with my own home and life. I was always comparing my home, my style, my fashion and coming up short. And I began to feel that there was a competitiveness out there among bloggers, a one-up-manship if you will. Plus everything started to look the same, blog to blog. I am not being critical, this is my own impression and totally on me. Anyway, I now follow only a few select blogs, people like you whose heart comes through on the page. I especially love how you open your home to others regularly, even though it does not seem to come naturally to you. I am like that too, I could easily be a hermit and be happy! My style is nothing like yours, yet I love your home, but mostly I love how you love your home. You are a bright light in the blog world and I appreciate you very much.

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  3. Well...this is the post I told you I wrote after I had read yours...It just took me awhile to finally publish it. :) But yes, kindred slow paced blogging friend, I appreciate these conversations we have. Looking forward to hearing what you learn from a little break. xo

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  4. Wow, thank you Suzie. Those are beautiful words that fill my heart so much!

    I feel the same way sometimes as well. It is hard to keep up...with anything it seems like these days. It really means a lot to know that this is a place of heart and not comparisons. In the midst of dealing with my own pressures to do more and succeed more, I would hate to put that on others through what I blog about...because I am not perfect and sometimes get bit by the be more blog bug!

    Thank you for reading and thank you for your words. They are a blessing and will shape how I go about my day today! xo

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  5. I figured this might be the one you were talking about! :)

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  6. Hi Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I like what you said here today. It is so easy to get caught in something that was once fun and fulfilling and have it just be one more commitment! It's hard to go slow in this fast paced world we live in.

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You can also email me at domesticfashionista {at} yahoo {dot} com.

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