"The primary purpose of marriage is not to be happy, but to glorify God and reflect his redeeming, covenant love...Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interests of another."
"Love is both something that happens to you and something you decide upon."
"So many of the Englisch parents I know would probably say that their greatest desire for their children is that they will grow up to be happy people. As I've interviewed my Amish friends, one thing has been made very clear to me: happiness is not their primary objective. Not for their children and not for themselves. Happiness is seen as a by-product that comes from treating others well."
Something that is well understood in our marriage is that we love each other but that love is also a choice. We choose to put the other before ourselves because this is the life we have chosen. We choose to love when things are hard and to offer grace and forgiveness even when it is undeserved. It is not in our joy that we find commitment but rather it is in our commitment that we find joy.