February 20, 2017
This Is Our Life And It's Okay.
I was recently driving home on a particularly warm February day. The windows were down for the first time since we moved and the wind blew through the wispies of my side bun. A favorite song was playing in the car and I could see my little boy in the mirror contently looking out at the rolling hills we drove by, occasionally hearing the sound of his little hands playing with a rattle.
I thought to myself, "This is our life. And it's okay."
This is the second time within the last week that I have felt this way. And there was a sense of comfort in realizing that I was finding contentment in this season of life - living out in the country away from all the things we once found familiar.
I am finding that I don't really know what home feels like anymore. And maybe perhaps home doesn't have to feel a certain way. I am coming to the realization that I may never mimic how I felt back in California but that doesn't mean that I can't find contentment.
While I feel like the same person on the inside, my outside priorities are so different here. What I once valued and filled my time with is shifting. It doesn't mean that I no longer care for those things but the drive and passion I have inside of me is being interpreted in different ways.
I am learning to be creative differently. I am finding out how to be a friend from far away. And family life is simply about just being together and not about where we are.
Our cross country road trip still lingers in my heart. It was the beginning of a life where things felt different. The places we go and the people we meet are so new. Definitely not bad but something that is taking some time to get used to.
I am questioning so much but in a way that is being opened up to looking at life a little differently. I know we are right where we are supposed to be which is giving me the freedom to just be and allow this time to shape me as it should.
This is our life. And it's okay.