On days that my four year old doesn't have preschool and we have walked the older two to the bus, we will take a leisurely walk before heading home. We hit up the little free library in the neighborhood, race around the round about at the end of the street, and check to see if there are any more blackberries to pick.
I have been savoring these small moments with my two youngest and the peacefulness of not being in a rush. But as we were walking the other day I realized I was kind of bored. I was craving something more while my children were having the time of their life.
I knew I was right where I needed to be - giving my children the gift of time, being outdoors, and slowness. I have learned over the years and have to remind myself often that sometimes motherhood is lonely. It doesn't mean I don't make effort to have relationships. But that sometimes I have to lean into the boring, monotonous, and conversations with two and four year olds because that is the job.
So when I read this article on why we struggle to pay attention these days - it gave so much clarity to my boredom. We are so used to constantly being stimulated.
There’s a specific kind of mental fog that creeps in when you’ve been scrolling for too long. Tired but wired, overstimulated and undernourished. You sit down to do something and your brain slips through your fingers…you check your socials, then your email, then your texts, then your socials again…toggling between five apps, and yet - nothing really lands.
A lot of us are noticing this quiet unraveling of our attention……..We give it different names…….brain fog, dopamine burnout, decision fatigue. But at the root, it’s the same pattern. We’re spending more and more time on things, while feeling less and less in them.
- Yana Yuhai
This reminds me that it's okay to feel slow, bored, and sometimes uncomfortable. That it is in working through the uncomfortablness that I can come out the other side with a sense of peace instead.
// So here are some things I am doing to slow myself down and be more present:
+ Less caffeine - I am cutting back on my naptime coffee treat and am choosing rest instead
+ Pick up my kindle instead of my phone - in the school pick up line, on my exercise bike, in the bathroom, sitting on the couch hanging with my kids
+ If I wake up before my kids, enjoy the morning quietness instead of picking up a screen
+ Welcome boredom - keep taking long walks when we have the opportunity, less on the calendar, and just sit with my kids when they are playing
+ Paper to do list - a list on the counter for me to see when I have a free moment instead of one on my phone
+ Unsubscribing from things that are no longer adding value to my life
+ Being okay with not being updated on everything - I am so behind on any type of breaking news. If it is important enough, I usually hear about it by word of mouth. Otherwise, I really don't feel like I am missing out on anything and it allows me to be so much more present with what is going on right in front of me.
In a world where attention is monetized, captured, and manipulated - reclaiming it is an act of resistance.
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