My kids have a couple more weeks of school but summer will be here before we know it. It feels like we are the last in the country to get out of school some years, but we do love our pacific northwest summers and will wait patiently for this magical time of year to arrive.
It seems like the common question in small talk as a parent is, "what are your summer plans?!" I'll admit to filling in the silence with this question but it's not my favorite. My current answer is - "I am having double carpal tunnel surgery!" It's a great way to kill the lighthearted conversation. ;)
Kidding aside, even if I wasn't having surgery, this question still stresses me out because we aren't doing what everyone else is doing. We don't go on vacation. We don't sign up our kids in a bunch of camps. We don't even go camping (I know, sorry world, please don't hate us).
And it is a reminder, over and over again in conversation for weeks, that we prefer a slower pace. And while I am very certain and happy with the way we live, having to explain it to people who don't understand feels draining.
So today I will not be sharing my summer bucket list, but instead our summer rhythm. I am sure we will be doing plenty of fun things but making a long list to complete only gives me anxiety.
So we are more of a take it a week at a time. And especially this year, when I will have two hands in recovery - I am reminding myself that if we do nothing, I still can savor this summer with my children.
Because the time goes by too quickly. It is not what we do together that matters but that I am present and spending time with them. For me, that has been the key to cultivating happy and close bonded children.
Our Summer Rhythm
+ Once a week we go to a different playground before we pick up our groceries. Depending on the day, and how often we frequent that playground, we can spend 30 minutes to an hour. It is not extravagant. But the fact that the playground is a surprise is what makes this feel special and fun.
+ Last year we started weekly "mommy adventure days!" On the same day each week, we go visit a fun, often free, local place. We went to flower nurseries, splash pads, and strawberry picking. We would get a special drink or treat, enjoy the activity, eat our packed lunch, and then head home in time for nap/quiet time.
+ Nap and quiet time is still a regular part of our lives. Even for my big kids, they do quiet times on the weekends and it continues through the summer. I need some downtime to recharge and I think it is really good for them to get some alone time as well. They each get their own space - our youngest still naps in the laundry room when everyone is home and my oldest hangs out in our bedroom. We have four kids in a three bedroom house and I am determined to make it work!
+ We don't do a lot of play dates. I actually think it is easier on me to have all my kids together because they entertain each other. I also find it really hard to socialize while keeping an eye on four kids and usually just leave feeling exhausted. So instead we spend most of our days just together.
Sure there is arguing at times but given the time to work through it (which means an hour or so for a rough morning or a week adjustment period for a schedule shift), they fall into a really good rhythm when I give them the space to work it out. This often means I make everyone go outside for "outside time" or they finally get into some kind of creative play together that is a mix of building and pretend (usually legos or magnatiles).
And my older kids are great conversationalists now! They keep me company and feed some of my social needs. When I just had little ones, I remember feeling very lonely. Having older kids really changes things.
+ Tea time! One of my favorites of the summer - after nap/quiet time, I get out my tea pot and we have tea and a little treat. And by tea I mean milk or lemonade with a cookie. :) It is just served like a fancy tea time. We quietly enter back in to time together and everyone looks forward to it. It also forces me to stop and sit with them for a few minutes.
+ If we are at home for the day, I start a movie before lunch for them to watch and eat. It gives me some quiet time to clean up the kitchen and get dinner ready so come nap time I can do something I actually want to do!
+ I try to take a break from the hurry - we are not in a rush to get out the door. I wake up when the children do for the chance that I might get to sleep in. I try to cut back on caffeine and rest or sleep at nap if I need it. I ride my exercise bike after everyone is awake and playing or eating breakfast (instead of before they wake up). I make delicious salads for myself everyday. I have the time to make more time consuming dinners because I want to. This is my time to rest, slow down, and take care of myself.
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