Editing My Life :: Chapter 2

Character building is hard.  It is easy to just get mad about things.  I never considered myself an angry person but this past year I have been very angry.  I have allowed hurt to build deep inside of me.  And by God’s grace, I am slowly learning to let go of it all and see it as a chance to build my character of my story.  Like Donald Miller stated in his book, “You can either get bitter, or better.”  I am finding bitter doesn’t work so well after all.  I better get better. 
Writing a story isn’t about making your peaceful fantasies come true.  The whole point of the story is the character arc.  You didn’t think joy could change a person, did you?  Joy is what you feel when the conflict is over.  But it’s conflict that changes a person. 
As a result of an anger issue, I threw myself into running a half marathon.  I wanted to be alone…I wanted to push my body…I wanted to feel accomplished…I wanted to live.  It was hard to force myself everyday to lace up my running shoes and just run.  But I did it.  And the outcome was life changing. 
It is when I am able to pick up my problems, address them, and find a way to deal with it, that change happens and I can move on for the better.  There are a lot of small changes going on in my life and it is easy to just pout and be upset about it all.  But I am finding by simply making a small change to give myself a goal…a purpose…I find joy in the depths of what once seemed so terrible. 
There is no conflict man can endure that will not produce a blessing.  And I smiled.  I’m not saying I was happy, but for some reason I smiled.  It hurts now, but I’ll love this memory, I thought to myself.  And I do. 
*Snippets of thoughts based on Donald Miller’s book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.  Read all the posts here


  1. “You can either get bitter, or better.” hmmmm

  2. Book sounds good. I can relate....running was amazingly therapeutic for me after my mom died...& therefore SO healing. Funny how that works....running also helped me through other very serious & extremely angry & hurtful times as well. I can remember so many miles & moments within those miles, where God met me: completely spent, @ the end of my *self*--& there we were--just thoughts, prayers & pavement.

    You're doing great Ashley.
    Your story, as it develops & unfolds, is a true BLESSING, to many, I believe, and in so many ways.

    Thank you for sharing these parts of it with all of us. <3

  3. oh ashley, i LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!! (i have heard of this book and now i really want to read it!
    thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life! it definitely sounds like you are getting better and over the bitter! xo

  4. I seriously think I need to go running...like now...forget that is 11:47pm...*sigh*


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