Being Available


My life allows me to be pretty available.  I have a flexible schedule that frees me to decide how I spend my days.  The thing is, sometimes being available is pretty inconvenient.

I am available to do favors, run errands, and be places that are not first on my agenda.  I don't always have a valid excuse for not wanting to do something.

My life at home has allowed me to be incredibly selfish with my time.  I don't have to submit to anyone else's agenda and it has made my schedule pretty comfortable.

Though I fully believe that saying no is an important boundary to create (as well as a trait I possess pretty well).  For me, I am one of those who needs to be better at saying yes.

I have this notebook I put together before I was married.  It has notes, quotes, and thoughts on the wife I wanted to be.  For a few years before we married, I really wanted to be a wife and so as I waited on my husband to be ready, I filled a journal with my heart that was growing for marriage and a life at home.

I recently went back to that notebook and found this quote I wrote down:


The other week I cleared my schedule up.  I was feeling stressed and burdened.  And so I made zero commitments for the week so I could catch up and rest.

We later had a family emergency which ended up requiring my time, energy, and presence for the majority of the week.  So much for a catch up and restful week.

And then I read this quote and was reminded of the heart that originally got me to this place in life.  I wanted to be available.  I did not want to be burdened by a busy life that I could not drop it all for the sake of others.  I realized that over the years I had slowly lost sight of the calling I had for being at home and filled it with focusing solely on my own needs and desires.

Over the last few months I have been feeling a nudge on my heart to come back home.  To look at life how I used to in our early years of marriage.  As the world continues to churn out more fast paced distractions, I want to step back, assess, and cautiously move forward.  I want to be available to a bigger plan and simply let go of the rest.

5 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post Ashley, thank you for sharing. I really needed to read this today too! As a stay-at-home mom, everyone also thinks I am available! And often I am available for the wrong things and spend time doing things that aren't important... x

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  2. Are you trying to say that women who work are unavailable to their families? I was raised by a stay at home mom and by a career woman aunt who BOTH made themselves available to their families. I have a career and that makes it a challenge for me to be emotionally available to my husband when we get home from work and are tired, but I do it; we both do. We share housework and cooking and responsibilities. I don't feel that this makes me a bad wife. My husband and I are equals. You're implying that women who do something with their time other than the comfortable and selfish things you've had for so many years are not available to God or their families. That is ridiculous. Having the money to stay home and loads of free time does not make you better or more spiritual than everyone else.

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  3. Wow...I am so sorry that this is how you interpreted this post. This is not my intention at all. I have never desired to come across sharing that I think the way I live is the only right way. Far from! I grew up with a working mom who was VERY available to me and my brother growing up. My point to this post was that even with a schedule that I get to determine, I still struggle being as available as I could. My hope is to share my own story and struggles in hopes that it will encourage others to look at their own unique life and apply the concept of what I am talking about instead of literally mimicking how I live.



    I wish you understood my heart a little bit more because many of the other assumptions you made, I believe, are far from who I believe I am. That being said, I hope you stick around to see that this is not my heart at all. I apologize if the way you interpreted this post hurt you at all. xo

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  4. Wow-I just read Ashley's post and I don't see how you could possibly be interpreting it like judgement. Clearly you're feeling defensive about your choices. The point of what she wrote is listening to yourself (and God). It's not to slam working moms.

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  5. "My life at home has allowed me to be incredibly selfish with my time. I don't have to submit to anyone else's agenda and it has made my schedule pretty comfortable.[...] I did not want to be burdened by a busy life that I could not drop it all for the sake of others." <<Her words.


    I do not feel that having the busy life Ashley so often condemns makes me burdened and unavailable. I am a teacher; I work hard, mold young lives and help my husband provide an income. I'm available to my students, who mean the world to me, and my family. However, I've not had the choice to stay home in my life--I have to work, like most other adults. I am not "clearly feeling defensive" about that choice. I do what I have to do. It is nice that she has a luxurious life and can enjoy and share it with others. I appreciate her honesty about her personal struggles. However, I personally feel that in this and many of her posts she glorifies herself with her choice to stay home and serve her husband: how it is God's calling. Almost every time I look at her blog I feel condemned. I know my husband will never be able to provide enough money to stay at home, host big parties, and decorate a fancy house. That doesn't mean he doesn't love me or that God doesn't also care for people who have less. I think there is a scripture about the last being first.

    An example of a female blogger who truly does it all is the girl behind Trusty Chucks. She works, blogs, is a mom, and makes a home, all in a very humble, honest way.

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