We have been going to a flower nursery for Mother's Day for the past five years. What began as a fun and easy tradition has now become a nostalgic marker of time.
The first photo was when our third was only a month old. I remember we walked around for about an hour and then I was done. My body was not quite ready for much physical activity. I did not want to do anything the rest of the day! But what a treasure to be out with my THREE children. I remember feeling like it was just crazy that we had three kids.
The next year I was coming up for air a bit. We took an adventurous trip out to Seattle to a nursery I had been wanting to check out. It was a fun outing with our newly one year old.
The next year I was pregnant with our fourth. It was hot and I was just weeks away from giving birth. I was waddling and sweating. I remember again coming home from our morning exhausted and unable to do anything else that day.
But this photo makes me extra nostalgic. The last few years were hard and transformative adapting to our bigger family and being pregnant in the midst of it. I remember being quite emotional reflecting on this treasured time with my three children. It felt like time was flying by and they were growing up right before my eyes. And truly it hasn't felt like it slowed down since. It was a another turning point for me in this parenting journey to slow down and savor these precious children.
Then last year our baby girl was almost one! What a difference a year makes. I was no longer a mom of babies but of big kids. Our daughter was pushing the stroller with the baby. The boys were running around with the chickens. It was a reminder of how far we have come.
And this year feels a little like the end of some of these markers for awhile. I see myself coming into my own again. Refinding a bit of my identity in the midst of the mother I have become. One day these four are going to be all grown up. And the days of dirty diapers, nursing, and postpartum pains will be such far memories of the past.
There is something about traditions - how they cause us to reflect on the past. A reminder of where we have been and how far we have come. There can be a lot of pressure around these holidays and I would be lying to say I don't hope and care how the day unfolds. But then I think of the mamas dealing with real hard things - sicknesses or heartaches - and I can't help but be reminded to be so grateful for each day that we are all healthy and happy.
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