I am currently recovering from double carpal tunnel surgery. Everything went really well but the recovery has been harder and has taken longer than I expected. And honestly, being limited with my hands with four children is a challenge. I imagine if my circumstances were different, it may have been quicker and easier.
I had my surgery a few days before my kids got out of school so we have been spending our whole summer with me on the mend. The first few weeks were good, finding what I could do, having my kids help, trying to rest when I could, and getting into a summer rhythm together.
But after awhile I found myself getting a little depressed. Though the pain was bearable it continued every day throughout the day. We were spending so much time at home but I couldn't feel very productive. It was a reminder of how much we take our health for granted. And what a blessing it is to feel like my body can keep up with how I want to live my life. Which was the whole purpose of my surgery! But still hard to grasp when in the moment.
And so I had to have a heart to heart with myself. I was mourning that each day of summer was slipping away. This time I covet with my children was not turning out how I expected. So I had to ask myself, what do I want from this summer? And my answer was - quality time with my children.
It didn't matter what we were doing or if we even went anywhere. But instead that I chose to be present with them. So I shifted my mindset.
When I leaned in to focusing on time together, things changed. My mood lightened. And I was reminded that they will be back in school and we will be covered in rainy days soon enough. I can be productive then. Now is the time to be together, to make memories, and to spend simple days outside.
I am great at not over scheduling my kids. But I love being at home so that I can be productive. When my worth is based in productivity, I forget what is important. What is important today is to rest so I can heal. What is important today is that I take this time to bond with my children.
Yes, I am the old mom now that says, "enjoy it! It goes too fast!" But it is time and experience and doing this over with multiple children where I literally can see the years passing with a little perspective.
So even I needed this reminder this summer. To slow down and enjoy what is right in front of me.
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