Getting My Priorities Straight :: {For the 2nd Time}

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I shared a few weeks ago about reprioritizing my time.  I had realized I was doing too much and neglecting the woman and wife I wanted to be.  Over the past few weeks I have had pretty good setting blog boundaries and have chosen to not take as many substitute teaching jobs so that I could be home more...enjoying the things that I love and taking care of my husband and home. 
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But there was a third thing I talked about in that post.  It was another job opportunity.  And I said I wasn’t going to follow through with it.  Well, I did.  And it was rough.  I went into the situation with expectations that did not meet the job requirement’s expectations.  I stressed over it.  Spent time preparing for it.  And it only ended up disappointing me…like I had figured it would. 
I had right in my hand my life and what I wanted to do with it…but I couldn’t fully embrace it because I had this one thing lingering there.
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Long story short the interview went well.  I felt confident in my abilities and that I said all the right things.  But deep inside I knew this was the last thing I wanted to be spending my time doing. 
It lead to some difficult but freeing conversations with my husband, mother, and girlfriends.  It was a reminder that I have so much right in front of me and I am wasting it on things that I think “might be.”  It is as if I cannot get myself to live the life I have longed for…for years…to be the woman I know I was designed to be…to have time to do things I love…and to be with people…and to be the best support I can be to my husband. 
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So after days of stress, crying, talking…I think I get it.  I realize I talk about this a lot but I think I am still in this process.  Allowing myself to be at home.  Allowing myself to set my own priorities that are so counter-culture.  Not because people or things are trying to stop me…but that I allow myself to get distracted and forget this blessing I have.  This life my husband works so hard to provide.  A lifestyle we choose to live so that we can enjoy each other, our home, and the time we get to have together. 
*Photos from San Francisco birthday day trip last summer.  Yes, I was freezing in my skirt.