Remembering Why I Stay Home

The past few months I have been swaying in an out of a rut.  I know it is my own fault…selfishness, laziness, lack of time with God…  Yet I still find myself climbing out of a hole I keep on getting myself into.
Before I was married, I dreamed of being a wife and being at home.  I started a little notebook where I wrote notes of things I was learning about marriage and being a wife and thoughts or ideas I had for married life.  When I feel distant from my husband, I often look back at this notebook to remember where I once was.  Longing for this life I have right now, yet finding myself ungrateful or distracted.
Our first year of marriage was amazing…I was a bustling little housewife, cleaning, cooking, and adoring my husband.  I realize that time, responsibilities, and seasons of life change but I still lack the zest for home life that I used to.  Instead I shop or eat.  Or get consumed with my own vanity or criticize and judge others.  I seek out other things to bring me temporary fulfillment when deep down I know if I was taking care of my home and myself in better ways, I would not have to seek out these empty pleasures. 
I think as women we are given so many gifts…our husbands, family, and home…yet it is easy to let these things slip away…and find ourselves full of self-centeredness and dissatisfaction. 
I am trying to be more thankful, more focused, a little more self disciplined, and much more prayerful.  Some thoughts I am dwelling on:
In being available to our families we are also being available to God.  We are willing to put God’s plan for us above our own.  -50’s Housewife
Take every opportunity to breathe blessings into the hearts of those you love.  Create emotional safety in your home…protect your child {and husband’s} spirit.  Every word we say is a seed that is planted in a heart.  -Warm Pie, Happy Home {Sugar Pie Farmhouse}
I’ve learned that my home and family should not be my priority because my logic says they should, but because God created me, knows me and has set those priorities for me.  -Boundless
There was a one-month period of time when Steve was working full time while I looked for a job.  It was a sweet season of having time to pray, time to clean, time to walk, and meet neighbors.  I spent every afternoon preparing for his homecoming.  I cooked gourmet meals.  I ran errands during the day so we had evenings and weekends to be together and explore our new city.  It felt idyllic.  I had time to miss him during the day.  I was eager to hear about his work when he got home.  -Candice Watters {link to great article about being a stay at home wife}
Don’t be a nag.  For goodness’ sake, take the garbage out yourself!  You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar…Let my husband work all day—I can handle it all.  Let him help out when he wants to.  Let him freeze his {butt} off on the train while I sleep until 9:00.  Let him leave his towel on the floor?  Who cares?  In the grand scheme of thing it really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I’m married to a good man who has given me beautiful children and a beautiful home.  -Darla Shine