October 19, 2013

31 Days of Serving My Husband: Day 19--I Plan Almost Everything


I am a planner by nature.  Planning things brings me joy.  I also like to be in control.  So because of this strong aspect of my personality when it comes to planning things...vacations, birthdays, special celebrations...I do most, if not all, of the planning.

I have high expectations of how I want to spend my birthday and what I do and where I go on vacation.  On the other hand, my husband is much more spontaneous.  We don't always thrive at this aspect of our relationship, sometimes I need to be more spontaneous and sometimes he needs to let me get in on the planning process.  But for the most part, this allows me to have and keep high expectations for anniversaries, Valentine's Day, and any other typical romantic scenario because I am very clear with what I want.

This has taken learning and growing to find a good fit for how this works for us, but I have no problem being the planner.  Because my husband is not as type-A as I am, does not mean he loves me any less.  We each have our own strengths, and so when it comes to planning ahead, I take the step up.

I share all of this because I know plenty of other "planning" women who wish their husbands would plan the vacations, birthdays, dates, and celebrations, because that is the romantic and dream scenario most women have.

I would love my husband to just whisk me away on vacation.  But instead he is responsible and realistic.  So I scour the internet for weeks looking for frugal deals finding the best experience for our budget.

My husband has not always been as much of a traveler as he is today but it is in lifting some of the weight of the expectations and planning from him that he now enjoys the trips we take. 

And when it comes to birthdays, you are allowed to throw your own birthday party or outing.  Even as an adult.  Even if you have kids.  I wanted to throw my own bridal shower but my family wouldn't let me (okay...maybe I do have a problem!).

The point is, I serve my husband by allowing us each to thrive in our own personalities.  I cannot say I have never been disappointed, but by changing my expectations when it comes to planning, I am able to help create special memories between the two of us instead of being disappointed he was not more of a planner like me.

31 Days of Serving My Husband

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7 comments:

  1. I am a planner too.. I am not detail oriented, I am detail obsessed ;-P

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  2. I too am a planner and am curious what your process is for planning a vacation? What steps do you take to determine where you want to go, the best deal and most important - the activities? I appreciate your thoughts and sharing!

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  3. Ashley your blog is just beautiful and I am so excited for you! Congratulations on the completion of your e-book. Just stopping by to say Hi =) Have a wonderful October!

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  4. So what do you do when NEITHER of you is a planner?! That's mine and Cory's situation...and probably the reason we show up in a new country and look at each other like, "Okay...what now?" :o)

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  5. This is *such* a good point! Why just sit around waiting for something to happen when *your man cannot read your mind*?? When communication is at work well in a marriage and love expressed then each person can play to their strengths without the other person feeling out of sorts. I think this is one of the beautiful things about staying in marriage is that if you don't give up on these sorts of things early on because expectations weren't met, you can learn and grow and communicate together and the longer you're together, the more easily these logistical types of things can work out. Kelly

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  6. p.s. where was this photo taken? love it!

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  7. I'm a big planner too. Spontaneity makes me cringe, haha!

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