Remembering Why I Stay Home

The past few months I have been swaying in an out of a rut.  I know it is my own fault…selfishness, laziness, lack of time with God…  Yet I still find myself climbing out of a hole I keep on getting myself into.
Before I was married, I dreamed of being a wife and being at home.  I started a little notebook where I wrote notes of things I was learning about marriage and being a wife and thoughts or ideas I had for married life.  When I feel distant from my husband, I often look back at this notebook to remember where I once was.  Longing for this life I have right now, yet finding myself ungrateful or distracted.
Our first year of marriage was amazing…I was a bustling little housewife, cleaning, cooking, and adoring my husband.  I realize that time, responsibilities, and seasons of life change but I still lack the zest for home life that I used to.  Instead I shop or eat.  Or get consumed with my own vanity or criticize and judge others.  I seek out other things to bring me temporary fulfillment when deep down I know if I was taking care of my home and myself in better ways, I would not have to seek out these empty pleasures. 
I think as women we are given so many gifts…our husbands, family, and home…yet it is easy to let these things slip away…and find ourselves full of self-centeredness and dissatisfaction. 
I am trying to be more thankful, more focused, a little more self disciplined, and much more prayerful.  Some thoughts I am dwelling on:
In being available to our families we are also being available to God.  We are willing to put God’s plan for us above our own.  -50’s Housewife
Take every opportunity to breathe blessings into the hearts of those you love.  Create emotional safety in your home…protect your child {and husband’s} spirit.  Every word we say is a seed that is planted in a heart.  -Warm Pie, Happy Home {Sugar Pie Farmhouse}
I’ve learned that my home and family should not be my priority because my logic says they should, but because God created me, knows me and has set those priorities for me.  -Boundless
There was a one-month period of time when Steve was working full time while I looked for a job.  It was a sweet season of having time to pray, time to clean, time to walk, and meet neighbors.  I spent every afternoon preparing for his homecoming.  I cooked gourmet meals.  I ran errands during the day so we had evenings and weekends to be together and explore our new city.  It felt idyllic.  I had time to miss him during the day.  I was eager to hear about his work when he got home.  -Candice Watters {link to great article about being a stay at home wife}
Don’t be a nag.  For goodness’ sake, take the garbage out yourself!  You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar…Let my husband work all day—I can handle it all.  Let him help out when he wants to.  Let him freeze his {butt} off on the train while I sleep until 9:00.  Let him leave his towel on the floor?  Who cares?  In the grand scheme of thing it really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I’m married to a good man who has given me beautiful children and a beautiful home.  -Darla Shine


  1. Such a great post. Definitely something that I needed to read.
    I LOVE the quote from Darla Shine.

  2. Really like this post. Been there and felt like that. I too like Darla's quote... I feel very lucky to work only part-time while my husband is the real breadwinner and I appreciate him so much!! You'll find your way, I'm sure of it!!

  3. Yes, I can relate to all of these feelings....and I've been married 22 years! And a SAHM for 15 of those! As with most things, I think it all comes down to the state of your (and my) heart. Place God back in spot #1. I'm telling myself as well as you! God bless you and your sweet blog!

  4. Love this!!! I may be linking back to this someday soon!

  5. This is such a great post. I've wrestled with this issue a lot. I have so many blessings, yet I feel discontent. Shopping is an outlet of mine too.

    I really enjoy your blog. I've been hovering for awhile, but wanted to say hello, and keep up the great work!

  6. I so appreciate your honesty. It is extremely hard not to get into a rut while staying at home. Thanks for your bravery.

  7. I really needed to hear this now. I especially like the darla Shine Quoute. I copied it over to keep on hand- it's so important to remember!

  8. I have been in several places in my life.

    1.) young wife no children, staying home.

    2.) young wife with child staying home

    3.) young wife with child going to work

    4.) wife staying home with several children

    5.) wife back to work with several children

    It's all hard. It doesn't matter how you look at it! When I was first married I used to try to be the perfect wife but that got old quick. I'm no where near perfect but apparently I'm good enough since I've been married for 18 years :)

  9. Thank you for your honesty. I have found that blogging is a bit like a chick flick. I used to watch chick flicks then go home and get upset w/ my husband because he wasn't like the guys in the movie and/or romance books. I had to go on strike from them. He can't live up to that image and neither can I. I was spending my days looking at blogs and found it has the same effect.....anyone can make their life look perfect on a blog, in a magazine, in a movie. It is learning to find joy in the everyday things. I stopped reading blogs so much and started my own I WANT TO DO list. This has helped me during the boring times of life...LOL. Live your life and love will find it again. You can't get out of a desert unless you walk.....walk with God. ;)

  10. Swung by via Gussy! And the first thing I see on your page is a Donald Miller quote from Blue like Jazz= Instant follow. :))
    One of my all time favorite reads.

    Hope you'll come check out my bloggy too! :)

  11. thank you for that quote...

    im in a rut right now too...


  12. What a beautiful post! I sometimes find myself seeking things that will provide temporary satisfaction and loose focus of the season of life God has me in now--staying home and taking care of my son, husband and home. I just found your blog and love so! So many inspiring posts!

  13. Stumbled upon your blog today. So glad I did because I really needed to read this today. Thank you!


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