October 1, 2013

31 Days of Serving My Husband: Day 1--Baking Cookies is Not Always Enough


I love to bake my husband cookies.  I also love to float around the house with an apron on, cleaning with the windows open, and lighting candles to make the home feel warm.  Though my husband appreciates these things, enjoys coming home to a welcoming home, and finds some of my homemaking antics "cute" it's not always enough.

Sometimes he needs me to listen.  To stop what I am doing and give him my full attention.  To stop doing laundry.  To stop obsessing over a clean house.  To just sit and watch TV with him.  Not while dabbling on my computer or phone.  He wants to know that I hear him.  That he is important and respected.  And that he is more important than my to do list.

As women we expect so much of ourselves.  I often have a mental list inside of my head of what a good wife is and sometimes it is more of a fantasy about myself than it is about my husband's real needs.  I think that having dinner made, a clean house, and a cute outfit on are important things (and they are sometimes), but if I fail to meet my husband's real needs...being listened to and respected...what is coming out of the oven really doesn't matter. 

And some days he does just need cookies.  Because they are delicious and it reminds him I was thinking about him during the day.

It's about balance.  And awareness.  And slowing down just enough that I have the attention span to really hear and understand that he needs me to just be there sometimes. 

31 Days of Serving My Husband

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31 Days of Serving My Husband is now available as a devotional!  Click here to find out more about the devotional full of new study questions and scripture to encourage and inspire you to an even greater marriage!

14 comments:

  1. Absolutely agree!! It is intoxicating to master the superficial skills of being a "good wife," but they can distract us form the deeper stuff, too. I have to sometimes consciously turn off electronics and sit with him at night, just chilling together with the tv and cuddling. And no matter how early I want to write in the mornigns, our first hour before he goes to the office is crucial. What a clear reminder, thank you! xo

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  2. love it! you're speaking truth, girlie!!! i once heard it said that women's heads are like a browser with LOTS of different tabs open..ALL THE TIME. so true!

    xx
    elise
    www.cheersyall-thehoustons.blogspot.com

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  3. "And awareness"...That is very deep. Wives need to be students of their husbands. We should study them and be in tune with their behaviors. It really is NOT just all about us.

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  4. What a great reminder! Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in what we envision as our spouse's needs that we forget to actually pay attention to his real needs. Looking forward to following along throughout the 31 days :)

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  5. My first year of marriage, I cleaned our house religiously even though I couldn't stand cleaning. I had a weekly schedule and I followed it rigidly. I thought this was something that would be important to Cory. Turns out - it totally wasn't. Instead, he'd rather have a messy house and me in a good mood. Imagine that! :o)

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  6. I'm so excited to read your 31 days series! Serving my husband is dear to my heart, although many times I fail, I try and try again. ~Sonya

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  7. Love it! Looking forward to following along1

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  8. I love this post, as my husband too loves for me to have baked goods around when he comes home from work. I also know that he loves me to listen to him about his day and to stop what I'm doing and have my full attention on him. Thanks for the reminder to take time to be with our husbands... I really appreciate it!!

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  9. My hubby's love language is quality time. I often have to remind myself that while I appreciate having things done for me, I really do need to spend that time with him that he craves. Great post!

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  10. Very true! Lately, my husband has said several times how much he enjoys when I sit on the couch and work while he's working. I'm trying to do so more and take advantage of the time we have together!

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  11. This is so true! One way to a man's heart is through his tummy, and the other is through respect and understanding, and being the wife he needs. Loving this x

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  12. Agreed! This is something that both my husband and I continually work on, and it's something that all too easily falls through the cracks when we're scrolling facebook and playing on our iphones. I'm not feeling super motivated to do dishes right now, but since you romanticized it with "putting on an apron, opening the windows, and lighting some candles", I'll give that a shot and see if it gets me refocused. :)

    Liz

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  13. OKAY Major conviction with this post! Your first paragraph could have been written by me! I too wear an apron, light candles, and I LOVE to make cookies! I want to be June Cleaver in the worst way!
    But I am ohh so guilty of being in such a rush to get dinner on the table when my hubby gets home that I WILL NOT even stop to hug him or kiss him on the cheek.
    WOW going to re-read this post and add some major changes to my To Do List.
    Thanks for sharing this!

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