I love to bake my husband cookies. I also love to float around the house with an apron on, cleaning with the windows open, and lighting candles to make the home feel warm. Though my husband appreciates these things, enjoys coming home to a welcoming home, and finds some of my homemaking antics "cute" it's not always enough.
Sometimes he needs me to listen. To stop what I am doing and give him my full attention. To stop doing laundry. To stop obsessing over a clean house. To just sit and watch TV with him. Not while dabbling on my computer or phone. He wants to know that I hear him. That he is important and respected. And that he is more important than my to do list.
As women we expect so much of ourselves. I often have a mental list inside of my head of what a good wife is and sometimes it is more of a fantasy about myself than it is about my husband's real needs. I think that having dinner made, a clean house, and a cute outfit on are important things (and they are sometimes), but if I fail to meet my husband's real needs...being listened to and respected...what is coming out of the oven really doesn't matter.
And some days he does just need cookies. Because they are delicious and it reminds him I was thinking about him during the day.
It's about balance. And awareness. And slowing down just enough that I have the attention span to really hear and understand that he needs me to just be there sometimes.
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