My husband has a demanding job. He also is unique in his hard working work ethic. Between the two of those things sometimes our life revolves around his work. Now this also allows us opportunities to practice drawing boundaries from work, which we do, but it doesn't necessarily change the day to day demands.
As time has passed I have felt like that by being home I am not only fulfilling my own needs and dreams of being able to creatively work from home with my blog and photo business as well as be at home, but it allows me to be a more available wife. When days are hard at work for my husband, to be able to drop what I am doing to support him has been a huge blessing to both of us.
I see how our personality and goals have aligned in a way that supports each other. I did not always want to be at home. When we were dating I had dreams of becoming a teacher and finding my purpose in the classroom. My husband had a desire to have a wife who was at home with his children, which I, at the time, was not sure that I wanted.
This was a big issue for us when we were dating because I only knew what it was like to have a working mom and staying at home never was even an option. We ended up working it out as my heart was softened for being at home and being at home for our children in a way much more extreme than he could probably imagine. I wanted to be home now before we had children! Teaching wore me out in a way that showed me that that road was in fact not my passion.
I did not realize all of this at the time, but as a few years have passed, I now see that I chose to be home because I wanted my first priority to be as a wife. Now that we have tested the waters and figured out a routine, I have been able to invest more time into my own endeavors as well as start watching my nephew in a way that still balances my role as wife.
Now I realize not everyone has the same luxury as I have had to just kind of figure things out as I go. But then again maybe you do and you just don't know it. Either way, I think if we were to look at our work, our responsibilities, our social calendar, and our kid's schedules, there might be room to cut one thing out so that we can fill in more as our role as wife.
Whether that be a night that the two of you can be alone, or supporting him in something he does once a week, or even just being home when he gets home to greet him and listen to his day--I think we forget to just be a wife sometimes in our priority list.
I have learned that by putting my role as wife and our home first, I make sure needs are met. From there I can fill in the empty gaps with things for myself and for others. But if I was to do this in reverse my husband would be filled with my leftovers which just isn't enough.
Is there room in your schedule to be more flexible for your husband's sake?
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