This entire series I have talked a lot about things that I do and ways that I have changed my mindset in order to serve my husband. Today I wanted to touch upon serving my husband by being honest with him about himself. It is not about trying to change him or boss him around, but as his wife and partner in life, I am here to also hold him accountable to living his best life.
I know in my own experiences sometimes it is easier for me to hear hurtful truths from friends and mentors than my husband or family. And while I make sure to have outside relationships in my life for that reason, there also needs to be safety in a marriage to call each other out on honest, need to address issues.
My husband is a good man but he is not perfect. I am extremely sensitive and a heavy thinker, so analyzing everything in life comes easy to me. He is very different--thank goodness--so we both bring a lot of insight into each others life.
When my husband is being selfish, not thinking things through, or just needs to hear a voice of reason, I want to be there for him with kind honesty. No one knows either of us as deeply as we know each other, so it is so important that things are not thrown under the table but instead brought out into the open.
There has been a lot of growth, healing, and forgiveness in our marriage because we can be honest with each other. But it is hard work and not always the first thing I want to talk about over dinner. But if I stayed silent to my husband, he would not have the opportunity to grow in ways that will better him as a man (as well as strengthen our marriage).
When it comes to confronting issues, I try to be sensitive (most of the time!) to how I communicate and when. I look for opportunities where we can both talk with a calm mind as well as given an appropriate amount of time to hash it out if needed.
Depending on what the topic is that I am bringing up, if it is something that needs to set in for awhile, I try to bring it up once and give him the space to think about it. Nagging over and over and restating my point only becomes annoying. I know he hears my thoughts and I have to trust that he respects my opinion and desires to grow. From there I just pray that when his heart is ready, he would be open to what I needed to share.
I should not be my husband's only accountability, but I can be a great amount of support to help him in areas of life that he struggles. I choose to serve my husband by being honest with him.
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